Saturday, June 28, 2014

Ann Coulter: Out of Line and Ignorant

The World Cup is now in full swing as the knockout round begins today with Brazil taking on Chile. It has been the most entertaining collection of soccer that I have been alive to watch and, quite frankly, this is the most exciting month in sports aside from the Olympic games. The significance of the World Cup is due largely in part to the fact that it happens once every four years which allows the anticipation and excitement to build over an extended period of time. However the most obvious reason for all of the hype surrounding the World Cup is that soccer is the world's sport. It always has been and it always will be. Yet here we sit, with the round of 16 just minutes away from beginning, and one American journalist doesn't have the slightest idea just how special this tournament is.

Ann Coulter wrote a scathing article about the sport of soccer, saying that the increased interest for the game is a sign of "moral decay". Coulter went on to give multiple reasons about why she believed soccer is over-hyped and, essentially, not worth even noticing. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion, that doesn't mean that said opinion deserves respect. So to counter the blasphemy that Coulter felt the need to publish to the world that is surely laughing at her, here's a look at why this particular journalist is nothing short of uneducated.

Coulter says: "Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks, and drop fly balls - all in front of a crowd..."

Being in shape to battle for 90 minutes is underappreciated
Two things: Her first problem is that she turned everyone off to whatever else she was going to say when she failed to recognize soccer as a "real sport". Ann Coulter, please go get in shape to run/sprint for 90 minutes while having the footwork to have the perfect touch on a ball, to be able to make a 40 yard pass straight to your teammate's chest, and to be able to bend in a free kick from 30 yards out. The finer necessities of the game of soccer go unappreciated because the average ignorant American (in this case it's Ann Coulter) doesn't take the time to actually study the game. They see the flopping and the constant complaining from the players and immediately write off soccer as something that's not to be taken seriously. I pity those people.

The second issue of this statement is that she believes there is no individual achievement or failure? I didn't even feel frustration at this comment because the humor of this display of ignorance trumped anger. No individual achievement? Ann Coulter, have you never watched a player take a penalty kick? Have you never watched a player redirect a header into the net off a corner kick? Have you never watched a keeper make a save in a one-on-one situation? While it takes 11 players to give the team a chance to score, individual success is what drives the sport! In her article, Coulter says that when a baseball player makes an error they have to stand there as the whole stadium recognizes their mistake. Well I can honestly say I would rather have 30,000 people in one stadium voice their displeasure with me for dropping a fly ball than to miss a crucial penalty kick in the World Cup and have my entire country cursing my name. No individual achievement or failure? Oh, Ann Coulter, you make me laugh.

Coulter says: "No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer."

You say that like it's a bad thing? Sorry that every soccer game isn't scoring in the 30's and 40's like football, or the 90's and 100's like basketball. Sorry that scoreless ties in soccer means that for 90 MINUTES the two teams were evenly matched and both teams refused to let up. Sorry that, in a game where one bad touch by a midfielder, or one missed marking assignment by a defender could result in a goal, both teams stood their ground and played beautiful soccer for the duration of the match. Are goals exciting? Absolutely, any type of scoring is. But how can you complain when scoring in soccer is as intense, if not a little more, than scoring in hockey is? Goals can be hard to come by, and that's the beauty of the sport. In some games it takes one goal to decide the game and a 1-0 final is MUCH more common than a 7-0 final in football. My point is that letting up a touchdown in football is not as hard of a mistake to overcome as letting up a goal in soccer is.

Coulter says: "Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box."


I'm not quite sure what the fighting in hockey has to do with soccer? Hockey is the only sport where fighting is tolerated to a certain degree. If you fight in any other sport you're looking at an ejection, suspension, and possibly a fine as well. So, nice try Ann Coulter, the hockey argument is relevant only to hockey. As for soccer not presenting a constant threat of personal disgrace? I'm a collegiate keeper and in past games I've been scored on by my own teammates. I've watched other keepers whiff while attempting to clear a ball only to have the ball roll into the back of the net. I've seen forwards put moves on a defender that send them to the ground in more embarrassing fashion than a basketball defender having his ankles broke by a crossover. I've seen players trip and fall over their own feet when it's a one-on-one situation with the keeper. No threat of personal disgrace? That comment is yet another testament to your unwillingness to do your research and watch a game. And to think you're supposed to be a journalist with credibility?

Also, to glorify a sport for needing ambulances to carry players off a field during a game? That's an issue in itself. If you're going to determine if something is a sport based off the type of/severity of the injuries the game inflicts then I'm genuinely concerned for your mental well-being. You say that watching soccer is a sign of moral decay yet you believe soccer is not a sport because you believe it doesn't need ambulances to be on-call? Oh, the irony.

Coulter says: "The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's)."

USA vs. Portugal was as exciting as any game in this year's Cup
I need some help understanding this. So, Ann Coulter, what you're saying is that it's a BAD thing that the women's games are as entertaining as the men's? You're essentially saying that sports are better when the men receive more attention and are viewed as superior to the women? Men's sports receive more attention in every sport yet when there is finally equality between the two genders and their World Cup TV ratings, you get upset? After all these movements for gender equality over the past few centuries you scoff at the fact that people actually pay attention to both the men's and women's US national teams? You're setting your entire gender back a step with comments like that. 

Coulter says: "Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers."

That's a quality stat. It's good to know that the most popular sport in America is getting the most TV ratings because, quite frankly, I never would have guessed. Football is an American sport, it's obviously going to attract the average American more than a sport that originated in a different country. Hockey originated in Canada, is the growing interest in that sport a sign of moral decay? Actually, I want to retract that question. It's not a sign of moral decay because, as you said in your article, there are fights in that sport, so that definitely puts it higher up on the totem pole than soccer.

Here's an idea, Ann Coulter. Go to London or Manchester and ask people how they feel about American football. I guarantee you get laughed at. Both my brother and I have been to Europe and the Europeans laughed at us for supporting a sport like American football. The point is that different countries have different native sports. For Europe and most of the world it will always be soccer. For America, football looks like it's here to stay as our nation's most hyped sport. Just because a sport is not popular somewhere else in the world doesn't mean it's not a sport.

Ann Coulter, your article was very nicely structured. It provided a beginning, a middle, and (praise the heavenly God above) an end. You were also able to bring out multiple emotions such as frustration, anger, humor, and pity. Never in my life have I read something so unintelligent and unwarranted. The ignorance of that entire article is something to behold. You're entitled to your opinion but, quite frankly, I'll never respect anything you said. Ignorance is bliss. And nobody does ignorance better than you, Ann Coulter.

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